Rachelle in the City:

*Editors Note*

Not that I haven't mentioned this before but Rachelle is new to San Diego. She's newly arrived, newly married and just plain old new. I remember the days myself, a little scared of leaving my "true self' somewhere back in my hometown and not knowing who I would become in this big Southern California city (I also remember going to the beach by Mission Bay Park a lot, unaware that there was MILES AND MILES of other beach that were REALLY different to explore). I talked to my Mom every Sunday and told her all about my adventures (the PG version, because it's my Mom) and I told her that the key to San Diego seemed to be memorizing the freeways. "Know the freeways, know the city." Perhaps that is my first piece of advice to Rachelle, as she finds her way...

Rachelle in the City

I'm getting married September 15, 2007 and moving to California. The reality of those words didn't quite hit me until the day before the wedding. I was getting ready to marry a man I truly loved, the easy part, but I was also going to leave behind everything I knew and loved, the hard part.

I had become accustomed to my life in New Mexico after having gone away to school for both high school and college. Most of all, I had become accustomed to having family around constantly, especially my grandmother who I'd looked after. My excuse for leaving them was, "I need to find myself," which was true to some extent. Still, would I be able to survive in California without them? It's funny how as one gets older change becomes harder and harder.

My wedding was one big blur. I will just say everything went exactly how I imagined and I had the best time of my life. The week after my wedding I spent sorting and packing. Box after box was packed and soon I began cursing myself for my needing to keep so many materialistic things. "They only tie one down," my minimalist friend once told me. Still, I couldn't part with the big gaudy fan, nor the huge painting of Jesus, both given to me by my great aunt.

Apparently, when I was 7 years old my grandmother and I visited my great aunt and I walked around her apartment and chose these items to take with me. She obliged me like the spoiled brat I was.

I tried to be strong when moving day came exactly a week after the wedding, but I gave up and let the tears flow as I hugged my grandmother and told her how much I loved her and how I would miss her. I turned to my father and saw that this man who never cried was also crying, which made me cry more. I hugged my aunties and my cousins, all were crying.

My poor (now husband) Geoff, I am sure for him it was like walking the gauntlet. Coming from a matriarchal culture leaving to be with Geoff was very hard to understand for my family. Deep in my heart I knew I was doing the right thing and one day I would come back a stronger and better person with an actual career (crossing my fingers).

Enough sad stuff. Fast forward to arriving in Vista, CA early Sunday morning. At this point, the tears had long subsided and the weariness of the long drive had taken over. I barely remember unloading the Uhaul or the "Happy Birthday" phone calls I began receiving. Ah yes, turning 29 was only a reminder that it was now one year before I would be 30, which just seems old to me. It's probably because I still feel really young and it doesn't help that people still ask which high school I go to.

I spent the rest of they day feeling overwhelmed by moving boxes and taking in my new home. I was also taking in the fact that I actually had husband. So weird. I was now an old married woman and had to make decisions that affected another person now. I fell asleep that night with all kinds of thoughts and ended up having crazy dreams. I was awakened the next morning with a kiss from Geoff bidding me goodbye before he went to work. Wow, I thought to myself, so begins my life.

Welcome to Vista, CA aka North County. I'll be honest and say I really wanted to live closer to San Diego. Who has ever heard of Vista? After a week of unpacking and moping around I began to venture outside and take a look around. Living right off the freeway has its conveniences and I found I was just a hop-skip away from the beach. Goal: to become a surfer girl. Though I would need a head to toe wet suit because I can't stand to be cold (hello, I come from the desert).

I found myself warming up to North County. My daily routine started to include: sleeping in until 11pm after bidding Geoff goodbye a mere four hours earlier, unpack some boxes, chat with friends and family on the phone, watch TV, go to beach to watch sunset, and return home to my dear husband who cooks for me (yes, he loves to cook! Score!)

I finally made it out for a night with my college friend Avery (names have been changed) .
It started off innocently. Dinner and a drink, just the two of us because my husband and her boyfriend were busy that night. We were good girls now. Our party girl images were fading quickly with our new lives. Our old evenings of debauchery had been replaced by our recent evening barbeques followed by a game of Scrabble, couple against couple. Still, we thought, what the heck, I had just moved here.

We decided to go to this bar after dinner and watch the band play like the good girls we were. However, match us up with a friendly bartender and play some good music and that spells trouble. One drink turned into two and so on an so forth. Everyone at the bar suddenly became our best friends and the band was playing just for us as I kept making them play more songs for us to dance to. Good times were had. Eventually, Avery's boyfriend came and bundled us up and took us home.

Our salute to old times was too much fun but there was a price to pay. Number one was a major hang over. Number two was a disappointed husband who had to pick up his drunk wife from Avery's house. The next day we swore to the husband and to the boyfriend that it would not be a regular occurrence and that it was a special occasion. I really meant it too for once because this girl was getting old and couldn't stand the major recovery that had to happen after such a night. Still, you have to have girls night and you have to throw caution to the wind sometimes, right?

It has been almost three weeks since moving and this is what I have noticed about my new grown up/ married/ San Diego life:

1.Overdraft fees are no longer an option according to Geoff who has never had any (HUH?!)
2. I never thought I would play as many board games as I have since becoming married.
3. My husband and I battle over how much time he is allowed to play the game Halo. (He says I need to get a hobby)
4. I need to work on my cooking skills. Avery cooks for her man, so I figure I better step up in that department more.
5. I really do miss home sometimes.
6. North County really isn't that bad.
7. I am going to have to be "the man" of the household as my dear husband would rather hire help than do it himself. Thank goodness I don't mind getting down and dirty.
8. I need help in the fashion department. My New Mexican casual wear just won't hack it here in CA.
9. I need to start exercising because all I do is eat here.

Next on my list: Starting my new job.

*Rachelle lives in North County (Vista) but calls it San Diego because it sounds cooler. You can read her article Rachelle in the City every Thursday. Experience San Diego (again) for the first time.